This time of year for most is filled with chaos, joy, excitement and traditions. Decorating the tree, holiday shopping, social celebrations and lots of delicious food. We find ourselves so busy that its hard at times to slow down enough to appreciate the gifts we already have. Unfortunately this is a time when we also forget to think about those that during the holidays are filled with anxiety, lose, grief and sadness. I know for my family the holidays are especially tough considering the loss of my father in law nineteen months ago.
There isn't a day that doesn't pass when thoughts of him fill our minds, memories of him bring rumbles of laughter and traditions he set forth are maintained. When I received that unfortunate call one Sunday morning in May, it forever changed my world. I was not prepared for the devastation, loss and hurt that would follow and I could not fathom that the man I called Dad for the last seventeen years was gone. I see him daily in my husband...the facial expressions, the jokes, the way he loves his kids and the joy at which he embraces life. I see him daily in my children... their desire to learn, their inquisitive nature, their obsession for U of M and their love for their Grandmother. This man accepted me as his daughter, taught me respect, unconditional love, appreciation, honesty and how to embrace a love for sausage and sauerkraut that I still consume in his honor!!I wasn't prepared for him to leave and wake up daily wishing it were all a dream. His death has taught me to appreciate every relationship I have, never take one second for granted and always be sure to express my love for someone because I just never know when God will call them home. It took my children months to emotionally deal with the fact that their "Papa" had gone home to heaven and they still have moments when it hits them like a ton of bricks. Brian had lost his "Buddy", his entire world came crashing down and he had to build himself back up one piece of faith at a time.
As we move into the holiday season, we celebrate, laugh and enjoy the excitement that Christmas brings. However, we make sure to slow down enough for us to appreciate all the things we have been given. We make time for those less fortunate, we embrace the true meaning of Christmas, the blessings God has given us and we reach out to those we love holding them a bit closer. This time of year for us means sharing stories of Dad... Cooking up a pot of sausage and sauerkraut, sitting down to watch some football (and yelling at the TV just a bit louder), talking about why all of the cords in his house have electrical tape on them, stirring up some good ol' fish tales about his days on the lake and sharing stories of how he loved us unconditionally!.JPG)
This morning I am fortunate enough to write this as I sit in his favorite blue reclining chair. His laughter still fills this room and his presence remains everywhere. I am so grateful for a husband who has grown to be just like his father and for children that have been shaped into spectacular human beings because of his love. I am especially grateful that I was able to love him as much as he loved me for more then half of my life.
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